2. Meating the Neighbors

     I suppose it is customary that when you move to a new town to have a housewarming party. My friend says that she had one to "bless her house". I want one to meet the neighbors, after all, I will have to live beside them. And so I begin the paper work. I created a few fliers and sent out few cards to friends where I used to live. I honestly couldn't wait.
     When the day arrived, I had the place decorated to the hilt with housewarmy charm. I baked an apple pie for a desert and asked everyone to bring a little something that represented them. The smell of the pie filled the whole house, there wasn't a room that you went in that you couldn't smell it. I made the rounds to make sure everything was perfect when the doorbell rang. I was startled, the party wasn't supposed to start for another hour. I scurried over to the door and peeked through the window, It was my best friend, Reah. I opened the door.
     "Hey there, Sweet Cheeks! How's the new pad?" she said with the gruff masculinity that only a butch lesbian could possess.
     "Your early, Girl!" I chuckled.
     "Mark it on your calendar, Honey, because It probably won't happen again. Besides, I wanted to help you set up." she explained, gazing around. "Looks like you already have it in tip top shape, though. Where's the Boob Tube? I need to catch the end of the game."
     I took Rea, and gave her the tour ending in my living to which she made herself comfortable turning my TV on and flipped the channel over to the football game. There she sat glued to television, watching the tail end of the foot ball game. I never realized how loud she got while watching a game until now. I tried to stifle a giggle, but it managed it's way out anyway. It didn't seem to phase her one bit, all her focus was on the game. Once again, the doorbell rang, I let out a "Who could that be?" and hastened towards the door. Peeking through the glass it was someone I didn't recognize. It must be one of the new neighbors, I'm sure. I opened the door.
     "Good Afternoon, I'm J.J. Valentino. I live next door in the goldenrod house." He announced.
     I took a second to give him the looksie. His stature was on the average side. If he had large muscles, his Armani suit did a superb job of disguising them. His hair was short, dark, and slicked back and the only facial hair he had on his head was a well defined, thin chin strap that ended before reaching his chin. His only jewelry was gold chain around his neck and a class ring on his right middle finger. In his arms he held the biggest bowl I had ever seen covered wit multiple layers of tinfoil. Overall, a decent specimen and not hard on the eyes either.
     "Good Afternoon, J.J., I'm Justin. Welcome to my humble abode. You are one of the first guests to arrive. Please, let me take that and you can go ahead and make yourself comfortable in the living room." I said as I took the giant bowl from his arm.
     That man must have muscle if he could carry that bowl one handed. It felt as thought the bowl weighed more than what the contents of  it did. Carrying it with both hands, I set it down next to my pie and Rea's coconut brownies that she calls her "Carpet Munchies." After setting the large bowl down on the table, I made my way into the living room to find J.J. and Rea debating over the game.
     "Look, Brady has great stats this season, with him and Gronk, they are gonna go to the Superbowl. There is just no way that the Pats are gonna come in behind this year." Rea stated.
     "But what about their injuries, if Brady puts anymore pressure on his already injured knee, He could be looking at sitting out for the rest of the season." J.J. rebutted. Ding-Dong!


     Guests began pouring in and eventually the place was packed. The pot luck table looked like a tribute to "Around the World in 80 Days" with all the diverse pickings for the choosing. Inside J.J.'s huge bowl was none other than spaghetti and home made Barbecue meatballs, since he is half Italian and half American. The Woo's brought over home made sausage filled dumplings, the Meadowbrook's brought sliders, and the Lagasse's brought a salad with French dressing.
     As the evening approached, the families started to dwindle. I took a moment and stepped onto the back deck. I started daydreaming about some of the husbands. Mr. Woo looked to be in his late twenties with enough muscle on him to be able to pick me up off the ground, but not enough to lift heavy weights. He had the perfect size muscle mass. He was thin, but with enough muscle to look strong. Mr. Meadowbrook, I imagined, was in his mid-thirties. He was of average build with short, brown hair and brown eyes. He reminded me of a politician, he looked very crisp in his semi-casual attire. His wife, was a Martha Stewart look-a-like, aside from her facial features which reminded me more of a young Judy Garland. Mr. Lagasse was definitely an old french man. Him and his wife had lived here for years. He was on the stouter side, and he was short. I'm sure he'd look like a koosh ball if he walked around topless. "Ahem"
     I was startled by the sound of J.J. clearing his voice. "So, uh, what's about you? I haven't had a chance to actually talk to you." He stated.
     "What about me? Well, I'm a gay, if you haven't noticed already. I'm also a Female Illusionist, or as others would call me, a Drag Queen. I enjoy singing and dancing, I love art and music. I'm a decent cook, and I moved here to get closer to the city. Anything else you'd like to know?"
     "Ok, that explains the spit polished house and not a lady in sight," he laughed, "Where are you from originally?"
     "I'm originally from the back woods of Maine. My art is hard to push up there, but down here, I can make it work better for me. I'm a hop skip and a jump away from a handful of places to perform. This place is quiet and I don't really have to worry about anyone, at least, I hope I don't." I chuckled.
     "I'm curious about you, what do you say if, after all your guests leave, you popped over and we talked some more. You like wine?"
     "Depends on what you got," I answered, "Moscato is my favorite, that or White Zin. I take it your into wine?"
     "Family thing. My entire family owns a winery in upstate New York. I have a large collection of it in my basement. I have both of those, by the way."
     We chatted for a bit longer before he shook my hand and took off home, I went back inside and mingled with the rest of the guests until they had gone. Rea was staying in my guest room for the night, and I told her about J.J.
     "So, you think that dude wants to shack up with you?" Rea questioned.
     "I'm not sure, I'm assuming so. The tension was pretty thick for such light conversation."
     "He's not my type honey, but knowing you there isn't a specific type for ya."
     "What's that supposed to mean?" I flashed a glaring look.
     "Chill, Chick Pea, I'm only saying that the running gag at your old haunt is you moved to a new place because you expunged all it's resources."
     "I'm not quite sure I understand your meaning."
     "Look," she said, "people back home say that you have more tricks than crayola has colors. Now don't shoot the messenger, do you know how many times they've kicked me out of Pedestal's because I've tried to stick up for you and your name?"
     My jaw dropped. I was flustered and angry. Determined not to put it against Rea for telling me this information, I decided a nice angry fuck was what I needed. J.J. just seemed to be the right one to do it. I grabbed my jacket and stormed out the door.